When you’re a fan of someone, you gotta support them with their career but that also means you will face any controversy your idol is involved in. I’ve been his fan for almost ten years now and it has never been easy lately – I think you already know why. I’m writing this because I can’t keep it to myself anymore and I hope it will make you – whoever is reading this right now – understand the situation from someone who deeply cares about him.
The first time I found out he was using drugs, I’m not gonna lie, I was very disappointed and angry. But eventually, it died down and the emotions became weak – concern, more than anything. I learned that people who battle addiction need more of compassion, understanding and not judgment, although not to the point that you will condone the habit. I mean as a fan, I can’t and wouldn’t leave him just like that or talk bad stuff about him instantly. We can never truly judge a human as a whole just because that person fell off the wagon. It takes time to understand drug addiction – especially those people who suffer from it and are battling to stay sober like Zac. And I don’t think I will ever understand how tough it is because I’m not even in his shoes.
The worst part about it though, is not knowing what’s really going on; I wish to know the truth but that’s unlikely to happen since he never broadly talked about his personal issues. It’s also heart-breaking to see the media and general people preying and insulting him. I sometimes wonder, what has he done wrong to them? Did he hurt anybody? I don’t think he deserves the insult, doubt and humiliation he’s getting.
Somehow, I also learned to back off – detach myself a bit from him because the truth is I’m not his friend, nor a family member. But despite all this, I chose to stay because I know he’s worth it. I know he’s getting the help he needs and sure is struggling because staying sober is never easy. I just pray everyday for his health and safety because, I admit, I’m afraid of waking up to the news that he’s already gone one day.
Right now, though, I respect him more than I ever did. I’m not saying this because I’m his fan but because he’s proven us that he isn’t a coward to face his problems. He got the help he needs and is still there, fighting against the demons inside him. I hope he continues to seek help and he will surely be fine one day. I just have to trust, believe and have faith in him because no matter what I do, no matter how many prayers and support I throw at him, no one could help him but himself .