I have been very busy for the first two months of this semester that I could not find enough time to surf the internet (mostly on social networking sites) and specially to post something here. There have been too many laughing, crying, disappointment, satisfaction, happiness, sadness, anger, contentment and etc compressed in a short period of time.
I got NO expectations when I entered my third year in college except that it’s going to be a lot harder than the previous ones and YES, so far it was harder than I thought it would be. I am taking up five major subjects and all of them demand a whole effort and are brain wrecking. Two of them require reading numerous scripts, novels, essays, short stories in different genres while the remaining three demand a more creative and participant scholar in me. At one point I thought I could never survive the hell I was given but then It taught me not to complain simply because this is the life i chose. I chose to study and in return, the least I could do is to learn and it’s honestly a win-win situation, so why complain? I only find it pointless and needless. Also, with professors throwing us shitloads of scholarly works made us more critical in our field. Through it I was able to read good novels, short stories and scripts that I never thought existed; they actually made sense and are more interesting than today’s shitty wattpad stories made into a shitty movie.
On the other hand, outside of this is the total opposite of me trying to become a professional artist: A fangirl. This has always been the most confusing and complicated side of my life, to tell everyone honestly. I never had any romantic relationships nor had any boyfriend so I may consider this as my love life. (insert a wacky grin) If there’s one thing that being a fangirl taught me is that not everyone, even the most perfect person we thought we know, is not perfect at all and the least everyone can do is accept and respect every flaw a man has and be more forgiving. Because forgiving won’t hurt anyone, RIGHT? And as what I’ve always posted here, I try to distance myself from Zac because if I don’t the only loser would be me. And for the past few months I realized that I have distanced myself further than I should. Now, I barely care what’s happening to him, I also don’t find myself craving for more information and very eager on his latest Q&A on Twitter. That is a HUGE difference of me being a fan a year ago where my day won’t be complete without staying up too late and early in the morning on Twitter waiting whether there would be a paparazzi picture of him coming out because I don’t want to miss one. Maybe part of me knows now that it isn’t worth wasting my time and that I know now what stuff to focus on if I want get ahead with my own life. I still support him, though, I still take time to appreciate his works and I sill respect the man he has become to be.
Also, normal transition here, speaking of being a fangirl, I just met Tatay Ricky Lee last Thrusday twice now since I first met him February last year and he’s still the same normal, too kind-too humble, famous person I have ever crossed paths with. Our class served as the ushers/usherettes in the launching of the Byaheng Panulat project of the most renowned writers in Philippine literature held in our school. And in part of our subject, Technical Directing, our class was required to assist the authors on the aforesaid event. And I must say that being a bodyguard could be one of the greatest job if you are securing someone like Ricky Lee. It’s a blessing to even have made eye contact with him and whenever he talks, the creative writer in me wants to come out but it always fail in doing so. I DON’T KNOW WHY.
(My picture with Sir Ricky Lee)
And to end this thing, I could not fathom how mature I’ve become (or at least I think I have) for the past two months and I must blame the classical music I’m listening to since our professor required us. Since then, I noticed I’ve become more intellectual and forgiving. I have never enjoyed staying at a library reading, studying and focusing alone although I’ve always enjoyed accomplishing stuff by myself. It just feels different now; it feels like the right thing to do, whatever I’m exactly doing. It feels as if I am finally taking on to the next level of trying to be more serious and achieving my life goals one step at a time. Trying to finally start anew and I am grateful about the opportunities that have been laid out early in my life.