Memories. Childhood memories. Forgotten friendships. People. Life changing events. Memories are the yesterday of today and the future. Memories are the only truth of what had become. And we all have something that keeps us from doing whatever at the moment and stare into the void of space, looking back the good (or bad) days.
I still remember that very first time my grandpa defended me from my raging mother when I was little, and how it bitterly remained the first and last. That one time a best friend bailed on me. I had a hard time forgiving, but ended up making up with the time lost months later. Friendship renewed. Although it was crumpled like a paper and would never go back to how good it used to be. That one time time I won an essay writing contest. Champion. The only essay writing contest I joined into, yet I failed to claim my certificate on the day of awarding because I belonged to the theater club that performed to start off the ceremony. How much I wish I didn’t have to change outfits. It could have been my only shining moment in high school in which I am very proud of because none really appreciated my passion in writing. That fateful day when I woke up surrounded by strangers in the middle of a high-way, realizing that my mother and I were in the brink of death. That one breaking down moment when I thought I’d lost the once in a lifetime chance to watch the concert of my most favorite singer, just before my better best friend called me saying she had won two tickets and was bringing me to the concert. That one time I won myself two tickets to attend a yet another once in a lifetime opportunity and witness the fan conference of my most favorite Hollywood actor. That some time between Christmas and New Year’s I lost faith in myself and people that decide my short-term future.
These memories are what I hold on to. They are the tressure only I have. These memories make up my whole system. I have made mistakes, happy, awful memories and they are all stored in my mind in a fashion that only human brain can make, where I can browse through them anytime I want, wherever I want — without the expense and hassle of the internet. They define my life and predict of what could be the future. Where would I be today if it wasn’t because of the past?
The past, in some occasions, is something we cling to tightly — as though it is a beloved teddy bear we can never hand to a playmate. It is something that we own like a gem, after all. Reminiscing is nothing but a joy to the soul. A simple tool which brings us back from where we started; keeping us grounded. And there’s a fine line between flashbacks and the present day. Holding on to what has been never meant progressing backwards. Not until we decide to shut off Today for the benefit of cherished Yesterday. Not until we allow the past keep us chained from moving forward.