I stare at the journal resting in my clammy and trembling hands, couldn’t summon to look in her pained eyes as guilt hits me with promises that never come to reality. Standing right now with her, at the cottage near the end of a beach boardwalk where together we smiled, laughed and shared our darkest secrets, she seems away from me—facing further in the sea. Then she turns—blank from the hints of her emotions. I pause for a moment, trying to gather words that could fit. I have no right to keep her long for nothing.
“I shouldn’t be asking you a favor but, for one last time, I’d like you to read what I wrote in the past month.”
I see the evident surprise in her eyes. Wind that whispers brine blow its magic. Waves grow frantic, accompanying the ache of the deep sea. Over the horizon is the sun, flaunting its good bye for today. While mixed bloody red and joyous yellow eat up the cloudless sky.
I grow more fragile as she slowly steps toward me, just like her graceful and natural way with everything which had me admiring the most. She looks down at the journal and reaches for it — accidentally touching my hands that brought fast electricity radiating my whole body. For a while, I didn’t realize I was holding my breath for too long.
Without a single word, she walks past me holding the journal and carrying her beauty, sophistication and confidence just like she always does—exactly like how she captivated me on the fifth day. And I am nothing but a man left staring at the perfection that was once all mine. How could I have let our love slip away so easily? How could I have hurt her so bad… that it’s simply better to let go and spare her from someone like me. The same river of tears from the past few days comes back, gathering up around my periphery, blurring everything I see in the process. And for the first time in years, I feel my soul breaks into million pieces.
But for one last moment, halfway through her walk, she stops and turns around—catching me by surprise. With her most genuine and angelic smile I’ve always worshipped she speaks…
“I’m happy to see you again.”
Her voice, like a magical symphony, drifts swiftly in the air—gently making their way in, seeping through my deepest flesh. Then suddenly, it was the moon hugged by felicitous stars illuminating the calm sea—the first time she rested her head on my shoulder, falling fast asleep.
Photo courtesy: retreatmyrtlebeach.com