The sound of rain tapping hard on the roof and the howling wind against the window pane sound like a classical music to her nerves that stimulate all her dying senses. She looked up at him as he drifted off silently. How peaceful you are, she thought, like a sweet child unknown of the harsh blanket clouting your little playground. His shallow breathing formed a light moist against her forehead; sweet and tender with a tinge of grapes. She closed her eyes as she reminisced about how she loved it; nights spent in a cold and dark room as the two of them seek fire from each other’s touch. As though their skins are of great combination to ignite flames through a delicious friction only them could make. She gently skimmed his bare chest with her candle-like fingers, savored every inch of his flesh, every chest hair that seemed like unstrummed guitar strings. She left butterfly kisses on and felt the warmth of his soft lips. Continue reading “Butterfly Kisses”
I kissed his wrinkled hand goodbye.
I stare at the journal resting in my clammy and trembling hands, couldn’t summon to look in her pained eyes as guilt hits me with promises that never come to reality. Standing right now with her, at the cottage near the end of a beach boardwalk where together we smiled, laughed and shared our darkest secrets, she seems away from me—facing further in the sea. Then she turns—blank from the hints of her emotions. I pause for a moment, trying to gather words that could fit. I have no right to keep her long for nothing.
Continue reading “See You Again”
To my dearest one,
I swear to cherish you in times of happiness and misery, dry your tears away whenever the odds seemed to have gone against you, make you laugh despite of the rainy day, kiss your broken heart, hold you in your sleepless nights and protect you from the vicious cycle of this cruel world. I have never even met you, but I have loved you more than I loved anybody else and am more than willing to sacrifice my only life for your own safety expecting nothing in return, for I’m bound to offer my greatest love to you. That, you can guarantee as long as I live, until we meet again in the promises of paradise.
Your future mom.
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It has been a month since the last time I have confessed.
It may be impossible but I hear his faint breathing stop, as if surprised by the time difference of my confession. Even I was surprised though — realizing I have turned my back against the Lord that long. Sweat beads on my forehead are starting to form again and this time I wipe it with my clammy hand. But despite all these, I must continue.
Continue reading “The Fallen Light (Part 3 – final)”
I’m not nervous, nor confident. If there’s one emotion that dominates my wholeness is that I’m afraid. I’m afraid of rejection, although rejection might be the best forgiveness the mighty could give me. I’m afraid of this world. All my beliefs seem to vanish far from the horizon. It devastates me most that my only anchor to strength is now next to nothing I know – oblivion. By mostly, I’m afraid of myself.
Continue reading “The Fallen Light (Part 2)”
It’s hard for me to convince myself that I am now walking on the same aisle where two indifferent yet passionate hearts collide and where dead proceed to their last prayer offering long before their corpse are forgotten feet under dirt. I hear my rampant heart thumping as though my chest was implanted by a deadly grenade. The air tastes both bitter and salty. Small beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead, I gently wipe it with the back of my hand. As I walk, I solemnly look up at the cross hanging on the far wall where Christ sacrificed his life for our sins. I wonder, will I still have the same burning fire in my soul just like his will of our salvation? That, I’m not certain. But if there’s one thing I know, I will never be the same again. God, forgive me.
Continue reading “The Fallen Light (Part 1)”